


One step forward, three steps back

by thisandthat



Category: Twilight
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-12-19 03:02:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11888568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisandthat/pseuds/thisandthat
Summary: This was inspired by an actual dream I had about Carlisle. Not sure where I'm going with this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by an actual dream I had about Carlisle. Not sure where I'm going with this.

The first thing I noticed were the birds chirping outside, followed by the softness of the bed linen. As my eyes blinked open, I could see the sunshine streaming through the large windows. I sighed.  
When I heard a creak I turned my head to the door. Alice entered the bedroom, a blinding smile on her face. Of course, she had waited for me to wake up. Before she could say anything, though, I asked her groggily : “Is Carlisle ok?” Alice’s smile vanished and crinkles appeared on her forehead. She sat down by the end of the bed and looked at me concerned: “Of course. He is at the hospital. Why wouldn’t he be ok?” The hospital, the location in my dream. I moved my hand over my face. “I had a nightmare. I was looking for him in my dream but I couldn’t find him. I was scared something had happened to him. It was just stupid.” I looked at Alice. “Please don’t tell him.“  
She looked at me skeptically. “Of course.“ I believed Alice when she said Carlisle would be alright. The dream, however, had unsettled me and I wanted to text Carlisle to make sure he was really ok. I knew I couldn't do that, though. What would he think if I texted him: Hey, had a weird dream about you. Just making sure you’re alright. I internally rolled my eyes at myself. All of sudden I felt a cold hand on my forehead. “Mmh, you’re not sick.“ I chuckled moving her hand from my head. “I’m alright, Alice. So, what did you have planned for today?“ I leapt out of bed.


	2. Girls Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure which time frame this story plays in. Bella is definitely still human. 
> 
> Alice plays match-maker, subtly.

Half an hour later I regretted that question. I was having my usual porridge whilst Alice told me her plans for the day. It would be a girls day. No surprise there. She would take me shopping. No surprise there either. Alice held up Carlisle’s black credit card. I sighed, yep, definitely no surprise. Of course, she had her own credit cards but as at the moment she was passing as teenager, she used her "dad's".

"Alice. I don't know how to put this, but I really wish you’d stop doing this." She feigned innocence: "Doing what?"

"Once Alice has made up her mind nothing and no one can reign her in.", a soft voice stated. In the entrance to the kitchen stood Carlisle. He wore black slacks, a white dress shirt and a burgundy tie underneath a dark grey sweater. His hair as was his entire attire were immaculate, as always. How someone could look so drop dead gorgeous after a night shift at the hospital was beyond me. Oh, vampire, no sleep required, of course. "Good morning.", he smiled one of his gentle smiles. "Good morning.", I blushed slightly looking back down at my breakfast. Carlisle wasn't supposed to hear what I said to Alice and I was sure he must have realised that I was staring at him a few seconds ago. I know the Cullens had more money than they could ever need but I felt immensely uncomfortable when they spend so much money on me. I let the subject drop for now. "How was your shift?", I tried to change the topic. "Thankfully, very quiet. Unfortunately, paper work never ends." He put a folder full of files on the table, smiling apologetically. I was glad he had a quiet shift, especially after my dream last night.

"We’ll leave you to it then." Alice shooed me up and pulled me by my arm towards the door. Help me, I mouthed to Carlisle as Alice pulled me along. Carlisle only laughed: "Have fun, ladies." "We will. We’ll be taking your car", Alice sing-songed. "Traitor!", I yelled towards the kitchen. I heard Carlisle laughing harder.

Later when we were in Carlisle’s Mercedes on our way into town, I had to bring up the subject from earlier. "I know you mean well. I just don't want you to think I’m only friends with you because you’re wealthy."

"Don't be silly. Of course, you aren't. I would know. We feel protective of you and we…“

I stopped Alice right there. "We?!" 

Alice only smiled. "Well, Rosalie will eventually come around. We do feel protective of you." After a few seconds she added: "Especially Carlisle."

My head whipped around. Alice was smirking, looking at the road. Instead of responding, I stored that information. Little would I know that I would get proof of that protectiveness later in the evening. When Alice realised I didn’t respond to her comment, she added: "Listen, we just want to take care of you, a little bit of spoiling every now and then included." Alice winked at me. 

"A LITTLE bit of spoiling?! You and I define little very differently."

"Well, if you want I can stop spoiling you right now." She moved her hand to switch off the seat heating. "Everything but the seat heating, Alice. You know I love it." I whined playfully. We both had to laugh then. I cuddled into the very comfy leather seat, watching the trees rushing by.

The day was great. I loved spending time with Alice and after a while I simply gave up trying to stop her from spending money on me. It was no use anyway, I couldn’t fight her. When evening came she told me that a proper girls day would include a movie night and another stay-over. How could I say no? 

When we arrived at the Cullen’s house, only Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie were home and the latter two would join the others on their hunting trip later. We called Bella earlier that day asking her to come over after school but she would not arrive for another few minutes. I let myself fall on the couch letting out a contented sigh. Finally, sitting. I heard Emmett chuckle. Him and Carlisle were sitting at the nearby table. Whilst Emmett was reading a magazine waiting for Rosalie to be ready, Carlisle was doing some work at the computer. Carlisle smiled: "Successful shopping day? "Carlisle, as much as I appreciate it but you really, REALLY have to stop giving Alice your credit card. Or stop spending so much money on me for that matter." Before he could reply, Alice stormed into the room.

"Time to feed the humans. Pizza?", Alice waved a take-away menu in the air. I tried to lift my arm groaning. "I would lift my hand but can't." Now Emmett downright cackled. I let my head roll to the side in his direction giving him a look. Emmett only chuckled and resumed his reading. I let my eyes fall closed for a minute, listening to Carlisle's steady typing. "Pizza sounds good, Alice. With cheese in the crust, please.", I responded to her question without opening my eyes. I was simply content sitting there. All of a sudden I felt something soft hitting the bridge of my nose, then Carlisle's voice chastising Emmett. He sounded different. I looked down to my right side, there was the little ball of paper Emmett had hit me with. "Funny, Em." I threw it back at him. "I’m bored. I’m going to have a look what takes Rose so long.“ This left only me and Carlisle. 

I closed my eyes again: "I like it when you let your British accent come through." Carlisle stopped typing and looked at me questioningly. I opened my eyes slightly nodding at the ball of paper. Then he understood and a blinding smile graced his features. "I will certainly keep that in mind.", Carlisle said, not hiding his British accent anymore. We both smiled at each other. Suddenly the door bell rang. I scrambled up the couch intend to beat Alice to the door. I really wanted to pay for the food this time. "It's no use." I heard Carlisle call after me. He was right. When I arrived at the front door, Alice was just about to hand some bills to the delivery boy. I tried to playfully push her to the side just as I would do with any human friend. I forgot, however, that Alice wasn't human. I was pretty sure I broke my elbow. 

I sat back down on the couch, defeated, absently rubbing my elbow. "What happened?", I heard Emmett ask from the kitchen. I looked at him questioningly. He nodded to my elbow. "I elbowed Alice.", I grumbled. "You're just as bad as Bella." This time I poked my tongue out at him. Carlisle got up from his chair. He was coming around the table towards me. I looked at him puzzled, still holding my elbow. "Would you like me to have a look, dear?", Carlisle asked me in a soothing tone. Dear?! That was new. It left me a stuttering mess. "Ehm...I...". Before I could form a coherent answer, Carlisle had already taken a seat next to me on the couch. The proximity made me nervous. He smiled at me kindly. I let go of my arm, holding it towards Carlisle. He put his left hand on my right elbow holding it steady and moved my arm by putting his right hand on my wrist. He was very gentle and I wondered if he was like that with all of his patients. "I...I'm sure it's noth... " I yelped when Carlisle moved my elbow in a particular way. 

"Mmh.", Carlisle hummed.

"Mmh?! That's not something I want to hear from a surgeon."

"Please accept my apologies.", he said in a thick British accent. I smiled brightly at him, I knew he was trying to cheer me up. "You will be just fine. I am getting you some ice.", Carlisle smiled back and then got up. 

Alice put plates and the pizzas on the couch table. "Bella’s going to be here in 5 minutes.“ She was grinning like crazy. "What has gotten into you?“, I asked her, half laughing. "Nothing.", she sing-songed. She practically skipped back into the kitchen. 

Carlisle came back with the ice pack. Instead of simply handing it to me, though, he resumed his place next to me. He took my right hand again and gently put the ice pack on my elbow himself. "Thank you, Carlisle." In that moment Emmett and Rosalie walked past us on their way out to the backyard. When Emmett saw Carlisle and me he chuckled: "Way to go, old man.“ This caused Rosalie who was slightly ahead of him to turn around and look at me and Carlisle on the couch together. Her face darkened immediately. She swung back around, stormed out and slammed the patio door closed with more force than was necessary, nearly breaking the glass. Emmett shrugged his shoulders, following Rosalie outside. Carlisle sighed deeply. I cleared my throat, I didn’t want to embarrass Carlisle. I tried to pull my arm from his touch but it hurt too much, which caused me to hiss softly. Carlisle’s gaze immediately went from the patio door to my arm and then my eyes. He looked down again and gently stroked with his right hand over my arm. "She will come around." "I’ve already heard that today.", I smiled shyly. Carlisle looked at me questioningly. I only shook my head: "Not important." He looked at me skeptically but didn’t prod. "Bella is driving up the road." Carlisle gently put my arm down, but before he could get up Alice yelled that she would get the door. Now that Carlisle didn’t have to get the door but also didn’t tend to my arm he looked a bit lost sitting next to me. I didn’t want him to leave. "Would you like to watch the film with us?" Carlisle looked surprised. "I was convinced this evening was solely for ladies?" "Well, exceptions can be made?", I asked hopefully.


	3. Girls Night

Before Carlisle could respond, Bella and Alice came into the room. Carlisle gently squeezed my hand and got up from the couch to greet Bella. After that he collected his Macbook and files from the table. When he looked at me I quickly looked away. Carlisle didn’t say anything, he left the room to go to his office I presumed. Why he wouldn’t join us I didn’t understand. I felt a pang in my heart, one step forward, three steps back. I didn’t have much time to dwell on those feelings, however, as Alice and Bella required my attention.

Before we started our film night, I changed into some comfy sweatpants and shirt. On my way to the guest room, I avoided Carlisle’s study like the plague. If he wanted to hole himself up in his study instead of spending time with us so may it be. When I came back to the living room, Alice had already lit some candles, these and the indirect light from some little lamps, created a warm, golden light. The rest of the house was dark, it wasn’t like vampires needed light anyway. She also got Bella and me some fluffy blankets. It was perfect and Bella and I thanked her profusely. We first watched Bad Moms, enjoying our pizza. All the time, no sign of Carlisle, not even a peep. Later we watched The Woman in Black. 

"Ok, I have to go to the bathroom.", Bella said some minutes into the film. "But I’m not sure if I want to in the dark." As Alice was busy switching on all the lights for Bella downstairs, I decided to run upstairs to get my phone. Since the guest room was at the beginning of the hallway I didn’t need to turn on the light. I looked to the right, the hallway was pitch black, except for a soft glow coming from Carlisle’s study. The door was slightly open. Weird, wasn’t it closed earlier when I changed my clothes? I shrugged to myself. After I got my phone from the guest room, I felt my way to the staircase. "Are you alright?", I heard a voice out of the darkness. I jumped in surprise. "Jesus, Carlisle! You nearly gave me a heart attack." I held my hand over my heart. I was sure he could hear it beating frantically. "I do apologise, I did not mean to startle you. However, I cannot fathom why did you not switch on the light? It is working just fine." To demonstrate Carlisle switched on the light. I squinted. He had changed into dark jeans and a light grey sweater since I saw him earlier I noticed. It was a nice look on him. "I didn't want to disturb you." 

"That is not worth falling down the stairs. And you have already injured your elbow.", he sounded concerned. "Besides, you would never disturb me.", Carlisle stated softly.

One step forward…

I couldn't meet his eyes. I simply nodded and forced a smile. "Thanks. I…ehm better head back downstairs. They’re waiting to resume the film."

If he could simply leave me sitting on the couch, I can leave him standing in a hallway I tried to justify my behavior to myself. Three steps back…

I really tried not to think about him when I cuddled back into the couch cushions. However, my mind drifted back to Carlisle ever so often, the scene playing on TV became blurred. I replayed the moments he held my arm, how I wouldn’t have needed the ice pack, his cold hands would have been enough. I replayed how he smelled, like old books, the forest, and a bit of disinfectant spray. How he radiated gentle authority and warmth at the same time. I felt safe when I was with him. Why was everything so difficult? And when had I closed my eyes?

"Do you think she is asleep?", I heard Bella whisper. "No, her heart rate is too high.", Alice replied.

I opened my eyes and laughed. "Ok, Alice. That is kinda creepy. Stop listening to my heartbeat." I threw one of the decorative pillows at her, which hit her straight in the shoulder. I’m sure she let the pillow hit her just to humor me. Vampires had extremely good reflexes after all.

"Well, I’m sure I have an elevated heartbeat. The movie is kind of scary.", Bella said.

"I don’t think her fast heartbeat has anything to do with the movie but with a certain someone", Alice winked at Bella. Bella ooooohd in understanding.

"Hello?! I am in the room, you know? I can hear you." The two girls laughed.

All of a sudden, Carlisle was standing next to the couch with a frown on his forehead. "Are you feeling quite alright?" Was he serious? I put one of the pillows on my face and groaned. I heard Alice and Bella breaking out in a cackle of laughter. Carlisle was confused and looked between me and the other two girls. I took the pillow from my face. "I’m ok, Carlisle. Really.", I said to him slightly exasperated. "Alice and Bella are just making fun of me." It seemed like Carlisle wasn’t convinced as he sat down by my feet by the end of the couch. I was surprised but didn't mind him sitting close to me.

After a few minutes something occurred to me. I looked at Carlisle: "Why did you think I wasn't feeling ok?" Then I realised what had happened. "Carlisle!", I said teasingly. "Were you eavesdropping?" Carlisle cleared his throat and looked away. I was convinced he would have blushed if he could. I gently nudged his hip with my foot to get his attention. When he looked at me I smiled at him. He stroked my foot for a few seconds and smiled back. Two steps forward. Alice gave Bella a pleased look.

I woke up with my head half-laying on a muscular thigh. Oh oh, I thought. "You drool in your sleep.", Emmett complained. I sighed. Rosalie would kill me.


End file.
